The Love Series: Alyssa Conley & Ashanté Dlamini-Mthembu
In honour of February being the month of romance, we introduce our Love Series where we feature some of SA’s favourite couples. Allowing us access into their relationship, they reveal what it takes to keep it going strong.
Our couple today is Alyssa Conley & Ashanté Dlamini-Mthembu. Alyssa is a well-decorated 100m and 200m 7x National Champion and 2016 Rio Olympian track star with a phenomenal athletic career.
With a cabinet filled with accolades, Alyssa has continued to express her love and passion for Track and Field by becoming the first female Athletics commentator in South Africa and also a SuperSport presenter. She is passionate about giving back to athletics by developing the youth as a coach and mentor and also helping athletes transition to life beyond the podium through her Athlete Career Transition company.
Ashanté Dlamini-Mthembu is a digital marketing strategist who started her career off in publishing but made bold moves in the international fintech space. Now in the new phase of her life, she is enjoying a slower pace and welcoming a new era of openness and vulnerability.
As a fitness enthusiast, who, over recent years, lost almost a total of 40kg’s, she’s found herself called to share that journey with many other ordinary women who have struggled with finding themselves post-baby. Sharing her journey with postnatal depression, an unhealthy relationship with food, and inconsistency with exercise is her current focus in the hopes of helping others navigate through it in a less lonely manner than she had to.
GQ: How did you and your partner first meet and what qualities initially attracted you to each other?
If we’re being technical, we met on Instagram. Ashanté slid into my DMs and basically, that’s how we connected. However, we did have a mutual friend who helped probe the connection.
GQ: How long have you been together?
Our relationship is fairly young. Although we’ve only been together for 8 months, it feels like we have shared a lifetime of love, learning, and making memories together.
GQ: How do you and your partner navigate communication in your relationship?
Ashanté has a degree in communications so to say we lay all our cards on the table, is putting it lightly. We communicate quite well especially when it comes to our feelings. Having hard conversations is something we have learned to take as lessons on how to be better. Hard as it may be at times, we never hold things against each other because we know the love we share is stronger than difficult conversations.
GQ: How do you and your partner navigate each other's emotional needs?
Strong as Alyssa may look, she’s a real softy and that is what warms my heart the most about her. She can be very hard at times but when it comes to things that matter, her heart melts for those she loves. I, on the other hand, have struggled with mental well-being so navigating my emotions as well as my partners can be trying but I’ve also learned that there is a comfort in vulnerability.
GQ: How do you express affection in your relationship?
Ashanté often says she wants to live in my skin. We’re big on showing each other physical affection, respectfully, but also, we have a truly romantic side to our relationship. We believe in time spent and small gestures of showing each other love. Whether big or small, we always find ways to remind each other of the parts we respect and appreciate about each other on the daily. Alyssa is also a Taurian so being romantic comes naturally.
GQ: Do you have any special rituals or routines that are unique to your relationship and contribute to your closeness?
As you can imagine, we’re a super physical couple. We enjoy training together whether it’s at the gym, on hikes, or taking our pups for a walk. You’ll always find us with trainers on getting our steps in. One of our 2025 rituals is doing a couples check-in once a week just to touch base on where we’re at physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Alyssa has a strong spiritual connection to her faith which we are beginning to explore as a family and it has unlocked a new level of vulnerability and closeness between us. While life continues as it should, we try to share at least our morning coffee and dinner, every day.
GQ: In what ways have you seen each other grow and evolve as individuals within the context of your relationship?
AD: I for one have matured in this relationship. Understanding that love can be healthy and does not have to come with pain and trauma has been a major growing step. It hasn't always been easy for us but Alyssa’s willingness to hold my hand through all my struggles has made the journey to understanding each other better so much more comforting.
AC: I have learned the true meaning of commitment. Our relationship evolved fairly quickly and I fell madly in love with Ashanté but adding a daughter to the equation just takes our love to a different level. Every day I choose to love, commit, and be loyal to both Ashanté and Amadi. I am truly blessed to have found such love.
GQ: How do you keep the spark alive in your partnership?
Date nights are a thing in our house. Taking time out to reconnect away from the noise is something we practice often. We love cooking together or trying new spots around town but our ultimate date night ritual is sunset margaritas. We try to use our dates as times to connect apart from work, family, children, and the daily stresses of life. Also just having fun as a couple, being spontaneous, and not taking life too seriously.
GQ: As a couple, how do you deal with disagreement/ fights or challenges? How do you work through it together?
We believe in talking things out, first and foremost. If tensions get high, we take space, breathe, and revisit whatever the issue is with a clearer mind. Being super clear about our feelings and how we want to move forward from our challenges has played a major role in our relationship.
GQ: How do you balance individual goals and aspirations within the context of a committed relationship?
We’re quite aligned in the future we want together and what we need to do to get there. We show each other a lot of support in our careers and more. Showing up for each other at home, at work, or with our friends and family is at the center of how we manage our goals as well. Whether it’s late nights drafting programs or building content plans, we’re always doing it together and sharing our thoughts through it all.
GQ: What’s the one lesson that your partner has taught you, or character trait that they have influenced/inspired you to have, that has contributed to who you are as well as to your relationship?
AD: Practicing boundaries. Whether at work, with family, our friends, or even each other. Knowing what you are willing to accept and not compromising what is right for you.
AC: Tenacity, regardless of how many times Ashanté gets knocked down she always finds the strength to soldier on.
GQ: What do you love most about your partner?
AD: I love and admire Alyssa’s resilience. Coming from a major athletic career and retiring after several injuries, her commitment to transforming her career to foster her passions in sports and giving back to others is really what attracts me the most to her.
AC: Her cooking - when she does cook for me - is like heaven on earth.
GQ: How do you envision your relationship evolving in the years to come?
We hope to always remain and grow in love. We never want to stop dating each other even as we grow older and the responsibilities of life take over.
GQ: What is your definition of “relationship goals?”
AD: Putting your partner first, no matter the circumstances. Always remember your shared values. Never forget to have fun with each other. Not every moment has to be serious and it’s okay to let go sometimes and just be in the moment with the one you love because that is a blessing not many can say they have the honour to experience.
AC: Growing together as one. Nothing in life comes easy but with love, it makes life so much sweeter. I believe that if you keep your relationship sacred and don't allow anyone or anything to dictate to you as a couple then you can only succeed in this thing called life. Also having a gorgeous partner with a beautiful heart does help.
